Equinox
by sparklymoonchild
Summary: Your name is Karkat Vantas and you are convinced that you are useless. You haven't had a friend in six years, and your dad hates you. All you want is an escape to get you our of this mess, and Sollux Captor just might be those. Inspired by the song Equinox by Sonny Moore. SolKat. Rated T for language and abuse, maybe other things, too.
1. Chapter 1

_This year is old like a dying father, whose will is out of spite .We pile into separate agendas with the songs of defeat playing in our minds. For you I give and give away my unhappiness in color. For your abandoned heart to see them, to bloom into your world._

_Binded to your perfect lands to live like somber cattle, and we're gathered as seeds to sprout mid Sahara. For who, for what? For you I give and give away my unhappiness in color. For your abandoned heart to see them, to bloom into your world._

_-Sonny Moore; Equinox_

* * *

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you are convinced that you are useless. You haven't had friends since you were eleven, your dad hates you, and you've never felt so alone. You feel like you're sinking slowly.

You're a completely different person from who you used to be. You used to have friends, but they all left you. The four of you had stuck together through thick and thin, you were inseparable. The suddenly, once you and your little group of friends started middle school, they drifted away, leaving you in the dust. That's when you started feeling worthless. The thought of "they just moved on" changed to "maybe I'll find new friends," then "nobody likes me," "I'm not worth it," and finally "I'm not worth anything." You haven't had anything close to a friend in nearly six years. You're lonely, and you only have your thoughts. You're that loner emo kid, the one who has no friends. A nobody.

You and your dad used to be so close; he used to be there for you. When you were little, he treated you perfectly. You would go to the shore with him to look for the little crabs that would crawl around on the beach. He would take you for ice cream on Sundays, and buy you new toys whenever you wanted them. The last one you remember getting is a stuffed red crab he bought you when he took you the aquarium for your tenth birthday. You named him Littlecrab. Crabdad, Karcrab, and Littlecrab. Just the three of you. Seven years later, Littlecrab is faded, one of his eyes is missing, there's a poorly sewn tear from when you ran him over with your scooter when you were twelve, and his left claw is limp from where you hug him at night. He's one of your most prized possessions. He's the last reminder of happier times.

When you were eleven, your dad lost his job. That's when things really went downhill. He drank more. He yelled more. Soon there were no new gifts, no more trips to find crabs, no more Sunday ice cream. Nothing. He started yelling at you every day, for little things. Not taking your shoes off at the door, forgetting to take out the trash, getting a bad grade, everything. He started hitting you and pushing you. He even blames you for losing his job. You're too spoiled, he says, you're a brat. Everything is your fault.

And you agree. You don't have anyone to blame but yourself. You're worthless, disposable, unwanted. Not even your dad wants you. You're sinking in a tide, and no one is there to save you. You're seventeen and this has gone on too long.

Your name is Karkat Vantas and all you want is an escape to end this all.

* * *

Your alarm goes off at seven, giving you about twenty minutes to throw on some clothes, grab a granola bar and walk the two blocks to school. You crawl out of bed, pick up some torn skinny jeans off the floor, and pull on a black tee shirt and a hoodie with the Cancer symbol on it. You grab your backpack and walk to the kitchen where you grab a granola bar from the cupboard, slip on your old tattered Converse, and head out the door.

Once you reach your school, you head to your first period class: Honors English. You have a lot of free time, so you spend it doing a lot of schoolwork. You walk into the classroom and sit at your usual spot in the back corner. You've taken out your iPod and are about to play a game when the teacher, Ms. Paint, walks up to you.

"Karkat, you're needed in the main office." She says.

You groan. _Fucking Christ_. You really hope you didn't get a detention. You skip classes two to three times a week, and doing so has resulted in several visits to the detention room after school. Each time you get a new bruise somewhere from your dad. You put your iPod back in your pocket and throw your bag over your shoulder.

You walk out of the room, maneuvering through the throngs of kids walking through the halls. When you make your way up to the office, you can see that one secretary who wears too much makeup talking to some tall, skinny kid you've never seen before.

"Hello, Karkat!" the secretary says as you walk in.

"Hi." You mumble.

"Karkat, this is Sollux Captor, he just moved here from New Hampshire." You give him a small smile, and he nods at you. He has chestnut brown hair, and two different colored eyes behind a pair of black-framed glasses. "And it just so happens that he's in six out of your seven classes, so I've arranged for you to be his buddy. You've been exempted from first period to show him around the school, alright?" You just look at her. From the corner of your eye, you can tell the new kid is staring at you. "Well have fun!" She walks back to her desk.

The Sollux kid holds the door open for you, and you walk down the hall together. You walk in silence until you find your spot under the stairs and sit down.

"Aren't you gonna thow me around?" Oh dear God, he has a lisp.

"I figured that since we have the same classes together, I'd show you around then." You say, getting a Monster out of your backpack. "I was gonna skip this period today, anyway."

"Oh, um, okay." He says, sitting next to you. The two of you sit quietly for a few minutes until he asks, "Your name ith Karkat, right?"

"Yeah." You take a swig of Monster.

"Cool." He says. "Tho, uh, what do you like to do?" You stop for a second. You haven't been asked questions like this in a long time, and you're not sure how to answer.

"Uh, I don't know." You push your black hair out of your eyes. "I like movies and stuff, and I draw a little. I mostly just do homework."

He nods. "What kind of movieth do you like?"

"None of your fucking business." You growl.

He laughs, "What, ith it porn? Cuz if it ith, that'th cool, what kind do you like?"

"It's not fucking porn!" you exclaim, "They're romcoms, okay, I like fucking chick flicks!"

He starts laughing louder. "You watch like, 50 Firtht Dateth and Bridethmaidth?"

"Hey, those are good movies!" You say.

This leads to you two talking back and forth, making small talk. You learn that he likes coding, that his dad works for some IT company, which somehow caused him to move to this dinky little where-the-fuck-are-we fishing town in Maine. Eventually the bell rings, and he has his computer science class and you have art. You point him in the right direction, and you realize you feel different. You feel like there's a light inside of you. You haven't felt this in a long time. Since you had friends.

The feeling comes back again in third period AP History, where Sollux sits next to you, and you notice him writing a bunch of numbers in his notebook instead of notes. He notices you notice, and you look away and continue writing notes on Henry VIII.

Fourth period, you have lunch, and you buy a bottle of juice and Sollux buys a slice of pizza.

"Where do you thit?" he asks, following you across the cafeteria.

"The catwalk." You say.

"What?" he chuckles.

"I sit on the catwalk in the auditorium, so, uh, do you wanna… come with me?"

"Thure…" He wraps his pizza in a napkin and tosses out the Styrofoam tray.

You lead him inside the auditorium, through a door, up a staircase, to a tiny, concrete room filled with boxes and stage lights, and up a narrow, metal staircase to the catwalk.

"Don't step on the cords or hit your head on the lights." You warn, slipping your legs through the spaces between the metal poles so your feet dangle over the edge. Sollux sits next to you and does the same.

"How did you find thith?" he asks, unwrapping his pizza.

"I joined A/V club for a day freshman year. They showed us this, and I've sat up here during lunch ever since." You take a sip of your juice.

"This is tho cool," He says, "We're up tho high. Why don't thit in the cafeteria?"

"I don't have anyone to sit with." You say quietly. He nods. You sit together quietly again.

"Thith hath been a really cool firtht day tho far, tho, uh, thankth." Sollux says.

"Yup." You say.

* * *

When you get home from school, you lie on your bed and think about the day. Sollux seems okay, you kinda like him. You want to be his friend, but you don't want to seem clingy or pushy. You've been alone for so long, and Sollux is now the closest thing you've had to a friend.

"Karkat!" No. Not this, not now. "KARKAT!" Shit.

"I'm coming!" You hop off your bed and head to the living room.

"Get me a beer." Your dad says. You see at least five empty bottles on the coffee table.

"Do you really need another one?" You say.

"Don't give me that attitude!" Your dad jumps off the couch and shoves you against the wall. "I asked you to do something, _so you'll do it!_" He pushes you harder against the wall, squeezing your shoulder. "You piece of shit!"

"Okay, okay! I'll get you your fucking beer!" You're shaking. His eyes are bloodshot and empty, and his breath reeks of alcohol. He's drunk and that scares you.

"Don't you swear to me!" All of a sudden, your cheek burns and you can see little stars in front of your eyes. He hit you. Hard.

"I'm sorry!" He lets you go, and you get him his beer and you go in the bathroom. You pull your shirt over your shoulder and see that it's already starting to bruise. Looking in the mirror, you see that your cheek is bright red and bruising slightly. You roll up your sleeve and count the various other bruises on your arms. Why does this have to happen to you? What did you do to deserve this?

You really need that escape.

* * *

**A/N: there's chapter one, i hope you liked it! the next chapter will be up either sometime tomorrow, monday, or within the next few days. for this fic, the most you'll ever have to wait for a chapter is at the most a week bc school. also frEAKING SNK I CAN'T STOP WATCHING IT.**

**but anyways, thanks for reading, and see you next chapter!**

**-smc**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: so i changed the title to equinox, and changed the song the plot is based off of to equinox by sonny moore WHICH IS A FANTASTIC SONG BTW. so this is no longer sleeping beauty pills, it is equinox. the plot is still the same, so here's chapter two!**

* * *

"How many thecret hideoutth do you have?"

"Here, under the stairs, and the bathroom."

"The bathroom?"

"Yeah, switch stalls every time someone leaves, no one will ever know."

You and Sollux are skipping sixth period Honors Pre-Calc, hiding out on the catwalk in the auditorium. You're both laying on your back, facing opposite directions, heads side by side.

You and Sollux have known each other for a little over a month now, and you're pleased to say that you are his friend. The both of you talk to each other several times a day and walk to class together; you hide up on the catwalk during lunch and text after school. Your mood has even been up lately. Wow, friend! You have a friend!

"We thould hang out after thchool today." Sollux says suddenly. You get that light feeling again.

"Sure." You say. The less time you have with your dad, the better. "We-we can't hang out at my place, though."

"'Kay, wanna go to my plathe or the park?" He asks.

"How about the park?" You smile. "I haven't been there in ages."

"Who doethn't go to the park?"

"Me."

The bell rings, and you and Sollux stand up. He hands you your backpack, and you walk off the catwalk and out of the auditorium to head to AP Physics.

* * *

After school, you and Sollux head over to the park a few blocks from your house. Your face lights up as soon as you see it.

"Last one there's a fuckass!" You yell, running straight for the swings. You toss your backpack to the ground and hop onto one, lying on your stomach.

"KK, you're thuch a little kid." Sollux says, sitting on the swing next to yours.

"At least I'm not a fuckass." You push his arm so his swing goes sideways and he nearly hits the pole.

"Douthebag." He pushes you, and you nearly fall out of you swing.

"Nooksniffer." You push him again, and he pushes you back, and the two of you keep shoving each other until you've both fallen over laughing on the tan-bark. You're still giggling when he helps you up and you walk over to the monkey bars. You climb to the top and sit on the bars, and Sollux follows suit.

You remember going here with your dad when you were young. You'd climb all over these monkey bars, and play on the seesaw. Your dad would push you high on the swings, and you felt like you were flying. You wish you still had that.

"Hey, KK?" Sollux asks, bringing you out of your memory. "Can- can I athk you a perthonal question?" He rubs the back of his neck. "I-I gueth I've known you long enough to athk, but, what'th your thexuality?"

You stop and think for a second. "I'm not quite sure. I mean, you're told when you're a kid that girls like boys, and boys like girls, but when you get older you realize that sometimes, that's not the case. Sometimes boys like boys, and sometimes girls like girls, and sometimes people like both or everyone. But I don't know, I've never really thought about it." You shrug.

"Would you date a guy?" he asks.

"I guess I'd try it." You say. "Why do you ask?"

"I dunno, I'm bi so I guess I was wondering what you were." He says.

You start to wonder if Sollux likes you. If he does, do you like him back? You look over at him, the setting sun highlighting his features. His chestnut hair has a tint of blond to it, and his heterochromatic eyes seem brighter. His blue one bluer and his brown one tinted a deep red. The light emphasizes his jaw line, and damn it, you have to admit that for such a geeky douche like him, he's pretty attractive. Not to mention, the two of you are very tactile. Whether it's pushing, shoving, punching, hitting, kicking, poking, or leaning, the two of you are almost always have physical contact. The other day in AP History when your class finished watching The Colt for your unit on the Civil War, you cried at the end when the main character was killed, and the baby horse mourned the loss. Sollux noticed and rested the tips of his fingers on top of yours. You come to realize that the two of you are basically already a couple, excluding the kissing, and hand-holding, etc, etc. You actually wouldn't mind being Sollux's boyfriend. You feel it would be rather nice.

But you won't tell him that. You don't want to mess anything up, as you do with most nice things.

It's probably just a bromace. Yeah, that's it.

A bromance.

"Karkat, you okay?" Sollux asks, bringing you back to reality once again. "You thpathed out."

"Yeah, yeah," You say quickly. "I was just thinking about when my dad used to take me here."

"How are thingth between you guyth, by the way?" He asks. All you've told him about you and your dad is that the two of you don't get along very well. He doesn't know about the abuse, and you'd like to keep it that way. You don't want to get him caught up in that.

"Okay, I guess." You lie. "We still argue sometimes." Last week, you accidentally left your calculator at home, which really fucked you over in Pre-Calc where you had a quiz. Your teacher is a bitch and doesn't let you borrow calculators. You got a 40% and your dad was _not_ pleased. He shoved into the kitchen counter so hard, you got an two inch-long bruise along the bottom of your back, which made it hard to sit for about five days. Now the bruise has yellowed and is less sore, and luckily Sollux didn't notice that you cringed every time you sat down.

"It'th thtarting to get late, want head out?" Sollux asks.

"Yeah, sure." You say, climbing off the monkey bars.

"Okay, I'll walk with you to your houthe."

On the walk to your house, Sollux tells you about some twelve year old who cussed him out on Xbox, and you laugh. In turn, you tell him about the shore your dad used to take you to, and he says you should take him there, so you agree on Sunday.

When you reach your little light blue trailer, Sollux stands in front of you, and you poke his cheek. You don't know why, you just do. He ruffles your hair, and you call him a fuckass and push him out of the way in feign annoyance, and he laughs and says that he'll text you later.

When you open your door, your dad is standing on the other side.

He pins you against the door with his forearm, "Where the fuck were you, you little bitch? You're over an hour late!" he growls.

"I-I was at the park." You choke out. "I-I'm sorry, it's Friday, I- didn't know you'd m-mind."

"I did! Next time, _tell me where you are!_" He pushes harder.

"I will, I will, I'm sorry" You gasp.

"Who's the kid you were with? That your little boyfriend?" He snaps.

"No," you say, "He-he's my friend, Sollux." Your dad removes his forearm, and you fall to the floor.

"A friend, huh?" He snorts. "I guess trash like you needs something." He kicks you. "Get out of my sight." He walks away.

You're left on the ground shaking, and you touch your neck. It's tender, and you hope it doesn't bruise. It's late October anyway, and you could get away with wearing a turtleneck.

Sunday can't come soon enough.

* * *

**A/N: karkat and sollux probably seem OOC, but i like the idea of cute them, so yeah ;u; chapter three will come soon!**

**thanks for reading see you next chapter!**

**-smc**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: omg im so sorry it took so long to upload this. this week has been so crazy, i started school and im already loaded with homework. i hope the next chapter wont take a week to put up, i apologize in advance if it does im so sorry here's chapter three i hope it doesnt suck. ;A;**

* * *

Today is Sunday, and it's too brisk and chilly for late October. The cold air nips at your face as you walk down the street, and you pull your hood over your head to block some of it out.

You're going to meet Sollux at Rocky Beach along the shore, the spot your dad used to take you. You haven't been here since you were at least eleven.

You spot Sollux standing in the rocks, phone in hand, tapping away. He's probably writing another code. You sneak up behind him, as quietly as you can on the rocky shoreline, and pull away his yellow and black striped scarf. "YOU COLD?" You yell.

He jumps and spins around "Jethus Chrisht, KK! You almotht gave me a heart attack!" He scowls at you, and you laugh. "And give me my thcarf back; my mom got that for me." He yanks the scarf from your hand and wraps it back around his neck. "How are you not cold in that, it'th like thirty degreeth out here." He asks, pointing to your extremely worn hoodie.

"Dunno," You shrug. "I'm just naturally warm. The cold doesn't bother me too much, unless it hits my face." You stand on your tippy-toes and boop him on the nose. "Now shut up and help me look for crabs." He smiles and follows you over to where the rocks fade into sand, and the two of you start looking for the tiny crustaceans.

"There'th probably not gonna be any. It'th too cold, it'th probably gonna thnow today." Sollux says, crouching beside you.

You sigh, "I know. But maybe I'll get lucky and find at least one. I used to come here a lot when I was little. I'd find a bunch of them."

"What ith is with you and crabth, by the way?" Sollux asks.

"I dunno, I just like them. They're cool."

"It'th not ath weird ath me liking beeth, though."

"Bees?" you chuckle slightly.

"Thut up, they're cool. They're all thmall and fuzzy and they fly, and I don't even know what I'm thaying."

You laugh, and he pushes you over from your crouching position. You go to kick him, and when you do, you catch movement out of the corner of your eye.

"Dude, I found one!" You say, sitting up and expertly catch the tiny crab in your hands. "Look at him!" You stand up, cupping the crab in your hands, showing him to Sollux.

"Woah, that ith kind of cool." He says. You reach up and place the crab on Sollux's head. "What the fuck are you doing?" He freezes up.

"You are now King Crab." You say. "It's a thing I used to do."

"KK, pleathe get him off of my head, I think he'th trying to burrow himthelf in my hair." You laugh and remove the crab from Sollux's head. You place him back in the sand and say goodbye to your tiny friend.

When you lean back up, Sollux is looking at you, a small smile on his face. "What?" You ask.

He shrugs, "Nothing." A slight blush spreads across his cheeks, making them rosier. You frown and tilt your head, standing on your tippy-toes again, because damn it, you hate being more than a whole head shorter than he is. He tilts his head back at you, and you lean forward slightly, and suddenly his lips are on yours and he is kissing you. It takes you a second to realize what's happening and you start kissing him back. He tastes like tea and honey, and his lips are soft against yours. His hands find your shoulders and he gently pushes you back onto your feet before slowly sliding them down your sides to your waist. Your hands wind around his neck and the light inside you explodes. Nothing has felt more wonderful.

You continue kissing him soft and slow until you both pull away to catch your breath.

You rest your foreheads together, smiling. You look into his eyes and your grin grows bigger.

"KK," he whispers, "Do you want to be my boyfriend?"

"Of course I do, fucker." You kiss him again, and when you pull away, he holds you in his arms. The two of you stay like this for a while, his thumb stroking your lower back, your head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

"Look," he says, "It'th thnowing." You look up, and sure enough, tiny, white flakes are falling from the sky, flittering around in the wind.

"Fuck," you say. "This is just the start, in like, a week, there'll be three feet outside and I'll want to die."

"Yeah, cuz the thnow will be ath tall ath you." Sollux teases. "You're tho thort."

"I am not!" You retort.

"KK, how tall are you? Like, five foot?" He giggles.

"I'm five foot exactly." You grumble, leaning back into Sollux.

He rubs your back again and says, "I'm cold, wanna go thomewhere for hot chocolate?" You nod yes, and he takes your hand, walking towards a coffee shop in town.

You and Sollux walk hand in hand into town, the sounds of bells from the docks ringing in your ears, and the snow dusting the ground. Everything is perfect.

Except your dad can't know. You dad already hits you for no reason, and if he found out that you were now dating a guy, that would give him an excuse to beat the shit out of you. It makes you a little anxious.

Once you reach Gumshoe Café, Sollux holds the door open for you, and asks to find a table while he orders your drinks. You choose a small table in the back, and a few moments later, he finds you and hands you your hot cocoa.

"So," you say as he sits down, "We're boyfriends now." You smile a little.

"Yup," he says, blowing on his drink. "You're okay with that, right?"

"Of course! I wouldn't have said yes if I wasn't." You say. "I just gotta make sure that my fucking dad doesn't find out."

"Ooo,tho I'm your thecret boyfriend?" Sollux says with a wink.

"Yeah, basically." You say. You feel a little uneasy. There's a lot of people here, and a lot of them probably know who your dad is. Even if he doesn't leave the house very often, he could still find out.

"You okay?" Sollux asks, reaching over the table and taking your hand.

"Yeah, I'm just-" You sigh, "I'm just nervous that my dad will find out."

"I'll make thure he doethn't." He says, rubbing his thumb over the top of your hand. "I know you two don't have the betht relationthip, tho I get why you're worried about it. But I'll make thure he doethn't know a thing." You smile.

The two of you start talking about Halloween on Friday, and Sollux invites you to his house for a scary movie marathon. You tell him that when you were twelve you watched The Ring on YouTube and couldn't sleep for two days. He laughs at you and you kick him under the table. You continue talking until it starts getting late, and he walks you home to your blue trailer.

"I'll thee you tomorrow." He says, giving you a kiss.

"I'll text you." You kiss him back. He kisses you one more time before leaving, and you walk into your house to your room and fall on your bed.

You've never felt so happy.

* * *

**A/N: there's chapter three, i hope the next one will be up soon!**

**thanks for reading!**

**-smc**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: *throws chapter at you* school sucks i'm sorry**

* * *

It's been about two months since you and Sollux started dating, and October has shriveled up and died in to the sub-Arctic temperatures of mid-December. You were right with your prediction of three feet of snow, and Sollux has tried multiple times to shove you into it. Fuck Maine.

The scary movie marathon on Halloween happened. You cuddled up into his bed, clinging to his side the whole time, and he laughed at you when you screamed and hid under his yellow sheets during Paranormal Activity 3. He kissed you to make you feel better, which was a thing that happened a lot that night. Lots and lots of kissing, and a quick make out session between Cabin in the Woods and Insidious.

At school, he kisses you a quick good morning, and you hold hands in the halls. In AP History, you link your index fingers together under your desks through the entire class. At lunch, you still sneak up to the catwalk, but now you sit in his lap and he wraps his arms around your waist. You'd like for him to sit in your lap and for you to wrap your arms around his waist, but since you're too small, he lays his head on your lap and you play with his hair.

On Thanksgiving, his family had you over, which was wonderful. You met his mom and dad, and his thirteen-year-old brother Mituna. His whole family is great, and they make you feel accepted. It feels like you finally belong somewhere. At the end of the dinner, you followed Sollux up to his room, where he laid on his bed, and you climbed up to snuggle on top of him, your head on his chest. Before he came into your life, you felt, empty, alone, on edge. With him around, all that faded away. With him, you're at ease, the pain in your life disappears. And you've never been so thankful.

Right now, it's Christmas Eve, and you're curled up in bed, tangled in sheets with Littlecrab smushed against your chest. A noise suddenly jolts you awake. You glance at the clock on your bedside table. 1:27 am. Ugh, you've only been asleep for three and a half hours. It's not unlike you to wake up every few hours. You haven't had a full night's sleep in ages. You close your eyes and try to fall asleep when the same noise happens again. You grunt and reach your right arm over and pull the side of your pillow over your head. It's quiet for about fifteen seconds until the noise comes back. This time you growl and sit up in your bed, and it happens again. You look around and get out of bed. The noise bangs again and it's then that you realize that somebody is knocking on your window. You sigh and walk over to your window and open it up.

"Thothe pantth are wrong, you're crabby all the time." Sollux teases, gesturing to your blue pajama pants with crabs that say "I'm crabby in the morning."

"What the fuck do you want, it's one-thirty in the morning." You grunt, rubbing your eyes.

"Let'th go to my houthe." He says, resting his arms on the frame of your window. "Come thpend Chrithtmath with me."

"I was already gonna come to your house today and tomorrow." You grumble, lazily crossing your arms.

"Yeah, but thith way you don't have to leave and we could like…" He trails off, rubbing the back of his neck. "I-I dunno. Maybe thleep together… in the thame bed." In the dim glow of the streetlights, you can see him blush slightly. You smile a little.

"Yeah, sure, why the fuck not." You lean over next to your window, pick up one of your many discarded sweatshirts from the floor, and slip it over your head, along with your Converse.

You quickly look behind you to your door, making sure there's no light creeping out from underneath. There isn't, so you know your dad is asleep, and you climb out of your window.

Sollux catches you and carries you to the curb. "I didn't want your pantth getting wet like mine." He says, putting you down. "Good morning, by the way." He kisses your cheek.

"Don't talk to me I'm pissed at you for waking me up this early." You grunt as Sollux takes your hand.

"I know, I'm thorry." He squeezes your hand as you head off down your street. "You dad won't be mad, will he?"

You shrug. "I actually haven't seen him a lot lately, because I'm always with you. I'll text him later though, so he doesn't get angry." Your dad knows about Sollux, but he doesn't know the extent of your relationship. It's why Sollux has never been inside your house. You don't want your dad walking in on you kissing or cuddling or anything like that. You also don't want Sollux seeing your dad yell at you or hit you.

The two of you walk hand-in-hand onto Honeycomb Street, where Sollux lives.

"Your neighborhood really gets into the Christmas spirit." You say, looking at all the decorated houses.

"Yeah, it'th pretty isn't it?" He says. "But not ath pretty ath you." He gives you a wink.

"I'm not pretty." You say, blushing slightly.

"Of courthe you are, have you theen yourthelf, KK?"

"You're so fucking cheesy." You roll your eyes, still blushing. You squeeze his hand so he knows you didn't blow off his compliment.

"Here we are." He says, leading you to his backyard. He quietly cracks open his back door, letting you slip through before him. You tiptoe up the stairs of his basement and through his living room, and up another set of stairs to his bedroom.

He closes his door, shoves you onto his jumbled sheets, and kisses you sweetly. You kiss him back until you both break away for air, and you smile and kiss his nose. You both kick off your shoes and he climbs under his covers, and you cuddle up to his side.

He quickly pecks your lips, "'Night, KK"

You kiss him twice "Love you."

"Love you, too."

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**A/N: chapter four woot woot! five should be up on a few days. homework and anime have ruined my life.**

**alSO THE-CAKE-GENIUS YOU LIL SHIT THANK YOU FOR MAKING A POST ON TUMBLR ABOUT THIS FIC [AGRESSIVELY HUGS] LOVE U**

**see you soooon!**

**-smc**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: OH SWEET JESUS IM SO SORRY I HAVENT UPDATED IN TWO MONTHS I FEEL HORRIBLE IVE BEEN SO BUSY (but i wrote a oneshot, hint-hint-wink-wonk its johndave too)**

**BUT HERES CHAPTER FIVE IF YOU WERE EXPECTING MORE FLUFF YOU ARE 150% CORRECT**

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"Sollux! Wake up, it's ten o'clock!" You hear the door crack open. "Oh, I didn't realize your boyfriend was here! Hello, Karkat!"

You open your eyes and you are very confused. This is not your room. This is not your bed. That is not your mom. You don't even have a mom. It's not until you look over and see Sollux asleep next to you and feel his arm lazily draped around your waist that you realize you're at his house.

"Good morning, Mrs. Captor." You yawn.

"Hello, dear, when did you come in?" She asks, smiling.

"About one-forty-five this morning." You respond.

"Mom," Sollux groans next to you. "Get out of my room, I'm tired."

"Well maybe if you weren't off getting your boyfriend at one in the morning, you wouldn't be so tired." She teases. "I'll leave you two alone now, there'll be waffles in the kitchen when you come down." The door closes, and it's just you and Sollux again.

The thing you like the most about Sollux's parents is that they don't give a fuck about what the two of you do. One of them could walk in on the two of having sex and they wouldn't even blink an eye. On Thanksgiving when you and Sollux went up to his room, his dad called up reminding you to use protection and to close the door because they didn't want to hear anything. Of course nothing happened that night except a lot of snuggling, but you store the fact that his parents don't give a shit if you two bang in their house in the back of your mind for future reference.

"You're warm and I don't want to get up." Sollux mutters, tightening his grip on you.

"Then don't." You giggle, kissing his nose. He groans and rolls over on top of you.

"Oof! Dude, you're heavy, get off." You say.

"Nope," Sollux mumbles into your chest. "I'm thtaying right here."

"Dude."

"If I jutht lay here…"

"No."

"If I jutht _laaay _here, would you lie with me…"

"I hate you, I actually hate you."

"And jutht forget the world."

"Remind me again why I'm dating you."

"Becauthe you love me." He says, sitting up and straddling you. "Altho because my ath ith irrethithtable."

"Mm, that could be it." You purr, moving your hands lower on his waist and lean in to kiss him, but before your lips can even touch, the door bursts open.

"THOLLUCKTH COME ON, WE HAVE TO PUT UP THE CHRITHTMATH TREE!" Sollux's little brother, Mituna, jumps on the bed and pushes him off. He looks over at you and yells, "KARKAT! YOU'RE HERE TOO, YOU CAN HELP UTH!" How the kid can even see you behind all that hair, you have no fucking clue. He jumps off the bed and starts pulling Sollux across the carpet by his hands.

"Mituna, Mituna, we'll help you, I promithe" Sollux agrees. "Jutht throp pulling me, I'm gonna get rug burn!"

Mituna drops his hands, "I didn't mean to hurt you!"

"It'th cool, I'm fine. Now go get breakfatht, KK and I will be down in a few minuteth."

"Have fun fucking your boyfriend!" Mituna laughs and runs down the stairs.

Sollux stands back up and leans over next to you on the bed. "Good morning, thunthine." He gives you a quick peck on the lips, and the light in you grows again. "Let'th go get thome breakfatht."

"Okay." He pulls you out of bed and you take his hand as he leads you downstairs to his dining room.

"Hello, boys!" Says Mrs. Captor. "There's some waffles on the table for you!"

Sollux takes a seat and pulls you onto his lap, wrapping one arm around your waist.

"Oh, hello, Karkat," Greets Mr. Captor, handing you and Sollux each a plate of waffles. "When did you get here?"

"About one-thirty this morning." You say, taking a bite.

"Well it's nice to have you." He takes a sip of his coffee. "Surprised we didn't hear you boys last night."

"Yeah, I know, KK'th a thcreamer." Sollux smirks, grabbing your ass. You almost choke to death on your waffle and start coughing.

"You-" cough "-Asshole! I am not!" You choke out. He just starts laughing, and you elbow him in the chest, coughing some more.

"Ow!" He flicks your nose.

"So you and Sollux have had sex?" His dad asks casually.

Your face heats up and you almost choke again. "N-no!" Sollux laughs again. "Why the fuck do you keep laughing!" At that moment, Sollux laughs so hard he snorts, and you both burst into giggles. "You're such a fucking idiot."

"You're an even bigger one." Sollux says, kissing your cheek.

The rest of breakfast consists of casual conversation between you, Sollux, and his family. Once everyone has finished eating, you help his mom with the dishes. You quickly text your dad telling him where you are, not expecting a reply.

As soon as you're done helping with dishes, Mituna grabs you and Sollux into the garage to get the Christmas tree and its ornaments. The three of you assemble the tree, and Mituna insists on stringing on the lights. Sollux heads to the kitchen to pop some popcorn for a popcorn string, and you begin digging through the Captors' box of ornaments to hang on the tree. You hang up the usual "Baby's First Christmas" ones, as well as ornaments from vacation spots, and there's a few that Sollux and Mituna made in elementary school. The one Sollux made in second grade with his face on a gingerbread man was almost your favorite until you reach in and pull out another handmade one. It's a laminated red construction paper square hanging on a paperclip. You read the back, "Sollux, age 12, grade 6, December 2009." You flip it around and nearly go into hysterics. There's a picture of a twelve year old Sollux, his brown hair dyed jet black, teased and covering nearly half his face. He's frowning into the camera, and you can see a ring on his bottom lip. Below the picture is a caption, scrawled in black Sharpie, "All I want for Christmas is for everyone to stop being a prick."

"Sollux, you never told me you went through an emo phase!" You call out, laughing.

"Fuck!" he yells. "Mituna, take that from him!

"Nope, I'm letting him have it!" Mituna yells, untangling more lights. "That picture ith hilariouth!"

Sollux comes running from his kitchen and tackles you to the ground, "That damn thing ith the bane of my exithtenthe, I want it burned, but my mother inthithtth on hanging it on the tree every year!" He tries prying it from your hands, but you wrestle him for it.

"You don't understand, mom, it's not a phase!" You tease him.

"Thut up!"

"This is _who I am!_"

"You're a little thit! At leatht I'm not thtill thtuck in the emo phase!"

"I can't help that I like heavy metal and I'm too poor to afford clothes with color!"

"Likely excuthe!"

"Is that lip ring even real?"

"No, it wath a fake!" You laugh at him, still holding onto the picture.

"You should wear it again, it would look kind of hot." You say. Sollux stops.

"Really?" He asks. You nod. "If I wear it today, will you give me that back?"

You consider it for a moment before saying, "Make it two days and let me take a picture of this, and you have a deal."

"Deal." Sollux says, giving you a quick kiss before running off with the picture. You call him an asshole and he just laughs.

The rest of the day involves sitting around in your pajamas watching Christmas shows on TV with Sollux's family, baking cookies, admiring the _fuck _out of Sollux's fake lip ring, and fighting over the candy decorations on your horribly assembled gingerbread house. In the end, Mituna takes over and turns it into a gingerbread crack house. Mr. Captor reminds him to draw a dick on the side with the red icing and Mrs. Captor smacks him on the back of the head. You really love his family.

At eleven thirty, Sollux's parents retire to their room, and you Sollux, and Mituna decide to watch The Nightmare Before Christmas. Halfway through, you start falling asleep, and Sollux takes your hand and leads you upstairs to his room.

You cuddle together between his sheets with the little bees on them and Sollux whispers, "Merry Christmas, KK. I love you."

"Love you, too, asshat."

* * *

**A/N: but if youre expecting the next chapter to be fluff ding dong u r wrong.**

**see you soon (not in two months) lovelies! thank you so much for reading! xoxo**

**-smc**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: woah-ho-ho two updates in two days! also i'm sorry this is so short.**

**otherwise, this is chapter six, here's the tissues.**

* * *

The noise you just made was not human.

"You fuck!" You turn around and bop Sollux gently on the head with the AP Physics textbook that you nearly dropped. "You know I hate it when you poke my sides!"

"I know, but the noithe you make ith tho cute, KK." Sollux says, wrapping his arms around your waist.

"I thought you heard plenty of it on Saturday." You say, slipping a folder into your backpack. Last Saturday on New Year's Eve, you and Sollux finally _did the do,_ and you are no longer a virgin. Haha, whoops. Oh well.

"I wanted to hear it again." He whines.

You huff. "Maybe tomorrow." Sollux whispers a _yeth!_ and kisses your cheek. You close your locker and take his hand, walking out of school.

"How much homework do you have?" Sollux asks casually, holding the door open.

"A fuck ton." You reply.

"You're not gonna do any of it, are you?" He chuckles.

"Not until about 10pm on Sunday."

"How are you even in advanthed clatheth?"

"Because I'm a fucking genius, that's why." You hear soft _plink!_ and you glance down and notice the Cancer necklace Sollux got you for Christmas hitting the zipper on your jacket. You unzip your jacket slightly so the necklace doesn't get scratched.

"You're wearing it!" Sollux smiles, squeezing your hand.

"Of course I am." You say. "You're wearing the one I got you, right?"

Sollux nods and holds up his hand, showing off the red and blue braided bracelet with a Gemini sign in the middle.

"Good," You state, "You have no idea how fucking hard that was to find."

"I can imagine." He says. You cross the road into your neighborhood, and a few minutes later, the both of you stop in front of your little trailer. "I'll text you later." He gives you a quick peck on the lips and starts to turn away. You grab him by the wrist and pull him into a chaste kiss. He pulls away, you poke his cheeks, and you turn to the door and wave goodbye to him.

You walk up the steps to your front entrance with a small smile on your face, but your smile fades as soon as you open the door.

You come face to face with your dad.

"Who the fuck was that?" He growls, his breathe reeking of the scent of beer.

"T-that was m-my friend." You mutter.

"Speak up, you shit!" He yells, yanking you up on the wall by the collar of your shirt.

"I-I said it was my friend." You tremble.

"Like hell he is!" He yells, pulling tighter on your collar. "Why the fuck did you kiss him, faggot!"

Your blood runs cold. He knows.

"He's my boyfriend." You whisper, barely audible.

You feel the pressure of a fist on your face before you can register the pain.

The blows come one after the next, and you can sense blood trickle out from your nose. You know not to fight back; it'll only make everything worse. He pounds his fist into your jaw, your eyes, your chest.

He hits across the forehead, and you detect the sharp edge of a ring rip into your skin, followed by the feeling of blood dripping to your eyebrow. The same sensation spreads through your left cheek.

Your dad kicks you in the chest, knocking the wind out of you, and you can hardly breathe as you double over onto the floor. He kicks you repeatedly while you're down. Sobs are uncontrollably racking through your body as an amalgamation of your blood and tears drips onto the tile in front of you. Everything hurts.

You look up shakily, gripping your chest.

"Get out of my fucking house." He snarls. "You worthless piece of gay trash." He jerks you up my your arm and slams you into the door, the handle digging into your abdomen. "And stay out!" He shoves you out the door and you collapse onto the porch. You lay there for a moment, shaking and sobbing.

You slowly push yourself up into a sitting position, grabbing the side of your trailer for support as you attempt to stand on your feet.

Unsteadily, you walk down the steps, to your driveway. Your legs are leaden as you body as your body automatically sends you down the sidewalk.

You hear a low rumble as it begins to rain, slowly until it's pouring. The cuts on your face tingle as the rain seeps into your open wounds, sending diluted blood down your face. You wipe at your bleeding cheek, and it comes back bloody, only to be slowly washed away by the rain. You don't even realize you've turned onto Honeycomb Street.

Suddenly you're on a familiar doorstep, and your trembling hand reaches for the doorbell. Thunder rumbles behind you. Your shaky sobs become louder as you fall to your knees on the welcome mat.

Footsteps emit from behind the door with an "I got it!"

The door opens revealing Sollux. You look up at him.

"Karkat?"

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**A/N: im so sor rye **

**thanks for reading!**

**-smc**


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